Brasil and California

There aren't a lot of places that I've visited where I've immediately thought, "I could live here". Ecuador wasn't even one of them until I was already there doing it. When I arrived in Sao Paulo, it didn't inspire that thought either. But Rio de Janeiro... siggghhhh... I can't think about that city without feeling a certain longing, a tug on my heart, a wistful nostalgia.

The beaches are incredibly beautiful and filled with people who are somehow impossibly even more beautiful. The food is amazing. The nightlife is outrageous. The people are warm and inviting and seem to be forever laughing. I kind of want to live there. But I can't figure out what the heck I would actually do there... besides stare at hot people on the beach.

So that's basically what I did for 2 weeks plus visited an island off the coast and another coastal town where I went to a cachaca factory tour and some waterfalls with a natural waterslide, which was AWESOME. Also went to Iguazu Falls, which are gigantic, incredible waterfalls that border Argentina and Paraguay. Partied often and much into the wee hours of the morning, dancing terribly to samba and drinking caipirinhas. So maybe I just fell in love with the vacation life in Rio... only one way to find out, I guess. ;)

I've been back in the US for 11 days now and I still can't get over:

• how late the sun sets. (I'm always asking what time it is between the hours of 6-8pm and then reacting with incredulity.)
• the price of alcohol. (How can anyone afford to get drunk here?! Oh right, people have jobs.)
• impatience. (Where are you all going and why can't you take your time getting there?? Oh right, you have a job. But South Americans have jobs and they're not all exasperated and hustle bustle.)
• throwing toilet paper in the toilet. (I walk into a bathroom and immediately scan it for the trashcan then have to consciously remind myself not to throw the TP in it.)
• trained pets. (Amazing.)

And more things I can't think of right now.

However, I'm extremely happy to be home! Spending a lot of time with my niece and nephew and they make me so very happy and keep me laughing. I've applied to a couple jobs so we'll see what happens. Had my first phone interview this morning in a long time and was so nervous I kept forgetting to breathe and thinking I was gonna puke but I think it went well. I'll update this with news when I have it.

Until then, if you're still reading, thank you. If not, that's okay. This is a good way for me to keep track of my adventures. Hoping for some more soon. Stay tuned.

Colombia and Sao Paulo

Present:
I wake up on my own at 6 or 7am now. I drink coffee at the kitchen window and watch monkeys and giant prehistoric looking birds steal fruit from the trees. I have my hands in the dirt for 4 or 5 hours and then I help cook lunch for a big Japanese-Brazilian family. I take a nap in the afternoon, sometimes in the hammock, and then spend the evening reading a book, going to a family function, or browsing the internet, daydreaming about home. On weekends I explore the city. I have a farmers tan, a perpetually sore back, and mosquito bites on every part of my body (including my eyebrows and the palm of my hand!) despite bathing myself in repellant every couple hours. I eat all organic and vegetarian, I sleep to the sound of thousands of frogs and crickets, and I think I must be living someone else's life. I think that's the beauty of this experience, walking a mile in someone else's moccasins or in my case, squatting for hours, pulling weeds in someone else's work boots.

Past:
Leaving Ecuador was so much harder than I ever could have imagined. I cried saying goodbye countless times, I cried in the taxi to the city, I cried on the bus to the border, and I got pretty choked up walking into Colombia, but I resisted the tears, trying to look as badass as possible in a notoriously dangerous place, alone, under the weight of a giant backpack.

Colombia highlights: meeting a really nice Colombian guy in Pasto who took me around to see museums and cool plazas expecting nothing in return, salsa dancing lessons in Cali, the salsa capital of the world, a water park complete with zipline into pool, 5 hour Bogotá bike tour, meeting a big group of crazy Danish people and listening to them sing their original rap song, meeting Carolina's family and going around Medellin with her sister, who was the best tour guide ever, and in general, complete independence.

This has been my first experience travelling totally alone and although it's been awesome, and I've learned a lot about both the places and myself, I've discovered that going solo is not really for me. I think I prefer sharing with someone else, bouncing ideas off of them, reveling in the marvels together, and having someone to turn to when things don't go right, which will inevitably happen. So, who wants to travel with me? My sister says I need a boyfriend. Maybe that's true. I'm accepting applications. Must love travel.

Future:
I had originally planned to work another farm in Rio de Janeiro but the more I think about it the more I think I deserve a proper vacation. So I'll be spending 2 weeks on the beach drinking caipirinhas and then I'll go to Iguazu Falls to see one of the natural wonders of the world. I might also visit some islands off the coast. Not a bad plan if you ask me. Just have to get through one more workday and Fridays are the hardest. Wish me luck!

The Beginning of the End

I have two days left in Pujili.

Come Thursday, gone will be the days in which I have to choose which side of the street is less dangerous to walk on- the one with the drunk man catcalling or the one with the barking dog. I'll no longer have to wait in line at the bank while the employee texts on her cell phone instead of helping customers. I won't be stared at by strangers because I look different. I won't wonder if lunch will make me sick. I'll be able to speak my native language, spend time with family and friends, and live in my comfort zone once again.

But gone, too, will be the days in which friends stop by unannounced to bring me food. I will no longer learn something new every day nor have loads of free time. I won't wait in line at the post office desperately hoping my care package has arrived. I won't walk slowly. I won't buy super fresh produce for pennies. I won't be able to hop on a bus and go anywhere in the country. And if I did hop on a bus, I wouldn't hear my name whispered by small children too shy to say hello but nonetheless happy to see me. No one will fall recklessly in love with me without the pretense of the rules of dating. No one will say "claps for Chelsea", followed by tiny people applauding me, just for showing up to my job. I won't be inherently interesting anymore. I'll have to leave all the wonderful people I've met in the last two crazy years.

I have a lot to look forward to, I know. But like I've mentioned before, change makes me cry. There will be a lot of tears in the next few days. They've already started today.

I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention the people who were the most important to me. First, my Peace Corps family- my lil brother, my thunder buddy, Todd, who made me laugh on days I wanted to cry and always had my back no matter what, as long as it was post 10:00am. My favorite couple, Eric and Em for being the most supportive, kind people I've ever met. (#SAGE) My lil sister, Katnip, the fun-loving, adventurous one with the best dance moves you've ever seen, who I can tell anything to and won't judge. My fatty club- Jazzy and Manisha, for always being ready to eat... a lot! And listening to me when I complain. The rest of my omnibus for making trainings much more interesting and for always caring about each other.

My Ecuas- my teachers, Tania, Sixto, Lorena, Segundo, for always taking my opinion into account, for being open-minded, for being patient with the silly gringa, and for being amazing friends. My first host family, who took care of me when I was sick every other day, fed me amazing food, gave me advice, taught me Spanish, and have always really cared about me. My site host family, for teaching me so much, for helping me get projects off the ground, and for making sure the dogs didn't bite me. Mi bichito for making my last couple months amazing.

I can't believe it's really finally coming to an end. It's crazy how you can dream about the day that you're "free" and then when the day comes, you don't really want to escape anymore. I am forever amazed at the human ability to adapt.

As I close this book and begin to write a new one, I'll attempt to continue chronicling my adventures, but I make no promises as I don't know what the internet situation will be like. But I should also thank you, reader, for your silent support throughout this experience. Without you, I'd have been talking to myself.

Lil Cdub signing off.

The Best Laid Plans

A LOT of people have been asking about my post Peace Corps plans. It stresses me out and I want it to stop. Haha! But it's completely understandable. The end is drawing near and it's time to make some decisions. 

My short-term plans are as such: I'll be "COS'ing" (Close of Service) one month early on March 5th and probably spend a weekend with my Ecua family before heading out. Then I plan to check out Colombia by bus, hopefully meeting Carolina's family at some point and maybe try to get to Yasuni before leaving Ecuador if I have time. Then I'll be flying down to Brazil to WWOOF. If you haven't heard of WWOOF'ing, it's basically a volunteer program for working on organic farms. I've heard back from 2 farms out of the 15 or so that I've contacted- one in Sao Paolo and one in Rio de Janeiro. They both cover all accommodation and meals. This is exactly what I wanted. It's getting real. I got my visa squared away last week and I've been studying Portuguese everyday. So you can't reeeallyy call me a procrastinator.

I'll be playing in the dirt for March and April and then I'll be at Tomorrowland in a small town outside of Sao Paolo in early May. If you haven't heard of Tomorrowland, it's a giant electronic music festival that's usually held in Belgium, but due to rising popularity, has recently started in Brazil and the US as well. I'll be camping at the festival and pretty much just getting one final South American party out of my system before heading back to the US to be a grown up. I should be back in the US by about May 8th-ish. I'm making sure to get to SD in time to celebrate Carly's 30th birthday! Exciting!

My long-term plans: I don't know. I'm strongly considering avoiding real life and leaving again, as I've been known to do in the past... After I graduated college, I moved up to San Francisco for 6 months in an attempt to put off adulthood and it ended up being one of the best times of my life. It was hard but if I had the choice to go back and do it again, I would. Although, when I got back to San Diego, reality meant toiling away in food service again, which was NOT the best time of my life. I was also volunteering which helped me to eventually get my big girl job at the Red Cross, which I loved, but I had to put in the hard time in cafes/restaurants/bars first to get by. I definitely believe in starting at the bottom, it helped me to appreciate working my way up, but I don't necessarily want to go back there. 

So I suppose maybe the smart decision would be to just woman up and try to find a stable, worthwhile job in the US. Get an apartment, buy a car, pay bills. But I just don't think I'm ready for that, or maybe not even meant to do that... ever. I'm 28 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I know I want to see the world and I know I want my job to be something that makes others' lives easier. I couldn't have a more vague future.

I'm thinking about going to Southeast Asia, Thailand or Cambodia, or maybe Africa to volunteer, although for a shorter term this time around. Maybe 6 to 9 months. My host mom says this is a terrible idea because there's no way I'm going to find a husband in those countries hahaha as if that were my plan. The thing is, the experience I've gained during these two years has been invaluable, but in a professional sense, I've gained a lot of experience teaching English, which is not what I want to do with my life. So I'd like to go abroad again and work in a field I'd maybe like to pursue. Anti-trafficking, humanitarian relief, refugee assistance, I don't know! Any time I start to feel overwhelmed and stressed about all the possibilities, I have to force myself to take a step back and think, "look at all the possibilities!" and I am bathed in gratitude.

The glass is completely full. It has half water, half air. And my cup runneth over. Or something like that.

2 Years

My anniversary in Ecuador (2 years) came and went a few days ago without all the pomp and circumstance and thought I gave it last year. Life has just become so normal. I don't count up the days I've been here nor do I count down to leaving. I'm in this uncertain, in-between state, not ready for what's to come, but starting to feel the end of what's been. A ship between ports. I'M ON A METAPHORIC BOAT, y'all!

We had our "Close of Service Conference" last week, talked about future endeavors (including bs like resume building and networking), planned our goodbyes, and processed the last two crazy years. I only cried once, briefly, which is clear proof that I'm in denial. (It's not just a river in Egypt.) I refused to say goodbye to the other volunteers because we're trying to plan a final party in February, but really because I'm not ready. I just started to write out how much they mean to me, got choked up, erased it, and thought "I'll do it later", as I've done with so many things in the past couple weeks.

As an ode to the last two years, this is my comprehensive "firsts" list. It's not in any particular order and I'm sure there are things I forgot to include, but this is some of the ish I've done in the past 2 years:

• saw fireflies
• went ziplining
• milked a cow
• lived abroad
• ate pig foot soup
• made out under a waterfall
• attended a quinceañera
• told a funny story in another language
• gave away/sold almost all my stuff
• pet a monkey
• vomited sober
• adopted another family as my own
• took a bucket shower
• ate guinea pig
• used a squat toilet
• fed butterflies
• discovered my love for chicken neck
• fell in love in a weekend
• bartered
• watched bullfighting and sheepfighting
• went to a dog show
• saw a volcano erupt
• shot strangers in the face with foam (Carnaval)
• danced in a parade
• binge watched Netflix for over 5 hours
• rode on "la bestia" behind a speed boat
• became a godmother 
• pet a llama
• stool samples
• shared a glass with hundreds of people
• rode a horse
• was interviewed on TV news and in 3 newspapers
• danced salsa and bachata until the bar closed
• ate alpaca
• hiked for 4 days
• got stood up
• rode a bus for over 12 consecutive hours
• visited 2 new countries

There you have it. Some of it's awesome and some of it is not pretty, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. And writing it all down makes me appreciate it that much more. I know it's not over yet and I shouldn't jinx it but I've been incredibly lucky so far. I have friends who have been held at gunpoint or have had their entire houses cleaned out and robbed. Friends who've had worms, several times. During the medical exam part of the final conference, we went through my whole chart and it read something like this: "diarrhea, diarrhea, mild bronchitis, diarrhea, dog bite, annnd diarrhea". That's a pretty successful two years, if you ask me! Although, the dentist did tell me I have Class 1 Gingivitis because my gums bled when he poked them really hard several times with what was basically a tiny metal shank. I call BS but I'm still flossing every night.

I'll be updating (too) soon with some kind of final wrap-up. Until then, friends, don't be afraid to try new things and don't forget to floss.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring.
<3

The Trouble with Two Homes and Yellow Underwear

I came "home" to Pujili today to a slew of nuisances. The rude taxi driver didn't get out of his car to help me with my bags although I was quite obviously on the struggle bus. My landlords and their family also saw me dragging my giant backpack, red in the face, trying to lift it over their truck and didn't lift a finger. None of the ATM's in town were working and I needed to pay rent and grocery shop for my old mother Hubbard kitchen and had a measly $10 to my name. The tienda lady gave me a hard time about said $10 bill because it had a tiny tear on one side until I pushed out my lower lip and said "it's all the money I have". A piece in the back of my toilet broke right before I left and didn't have time to fix it so I realized it was still broken, said a few curse words, and attempted to fix it, accidentally sprayed super glue all over my hand, said a few more curse words and slapped duct tape on it and called it a day. I finally went to cook dinner at 8pm and realized someone (my landlord) had disconnected my troublesome gas tank so I went in the backyard with a flashlight and tried to reconnect it to no avail. I baked some eggs for dinner. They were surprisingly tasty.

And yet, all of this is part of this "home". This feels more familiar to me now than San Diego does. Now, before you get all up in arms about wanting me to come back to SD (Mom), it doesn't mean that I prefer these nuisances to those I experience in the US. They're 100% different, but each place has its own sources of stress. The US isn't perfect either, no matter how much I idealize it when I'm homesick here. It's just so strange to me that I feel more at home here, while I've been counting down the days until I can get back there. They warned me this would happen. Just when you start to finally feel comfortable, you'll leave. As Ron Burgandy once said, I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!

Anyway.

Christmas was amazing! I ate and drank to my heart's content (and past it) every day I was home. I spent a lot of time (though never enough) with my sobrinitos, bonded over beers with Carly and Chris singing Son by Four and watching vine videos, I had brunches and lunches and hikes with great friends, I danced, I laughed, I drove, I sang, I hugged, and I loved every minute of it. I only allowed myself to cry for 1 minute in the airport bathroom because I know I'll be back soon. Until then, don't forget about me, San Diego!

how could you not be in love with this city?!

Cupcake ATM's are a thing now so I guess I'm moving to LA

Devil, Angel, Granny forevs.

you be my wings and I'll be your anchor

with all my heart

Back in Ecuador, I rang in the New Year in Quito. Año Viejo and Año Nuevo were pretty awesome! There are so many superstitions, which I love, and I got to spend it with my wonderful host family, so it was really fun being a part of all the different traditions here. I wore yellow underwear to bring good luck in the new year. I ate lentils for good luck. I made a life-size doll (monigote/viejo/muñeco) that resembled me and represents my "old year" or the previous year, which we burned at midnight, burning all of the bad energy from 2014 in order to start fresh. On the doll, I placed my testamento, which listed all the things I would like 2015 to bring to my loved ones and to me. I ate 12 grapes at midnight, one for each month of the new year, and made one wish with each grape. I washed my hands with champagne and brown sugar to wash away the bad energy. We ate dinner together after midnight and stayed up until 4:00am just chatting. We had a couple beers between the three of us but it was just good, clean fun. So very different from all New Year's Eves in the past, but though the superstitions seem silly, they're a kind of hopeful and self-fulfilling prophecy to focus on the positive, even the underwear. I think I'll be carrying these traditions on in the future, no matter where I am. 

Giant monigote in Quito

My monigote- muy parecidas, no?

2014 wasn't a bad year, but it was still fun to watch it BURN!

 

2014 was the underdog that came back and bit its critics (me) in the ass! (That's reminiscent.) My first year of Peace Corps (2013) was probably my most challenging to date and I didn't have the highest hopes for my second and final year. This time last year, I was bawling my eyes out in the airport at the thought of leaving behind my family, friends, and home once again. But alas, I guess my attitude had nowhere to go but up, and this year exceeded my every expectation. 

2015 is a huge mystery. I feel anxious and excited and it gives me butterflies to think about all the possibilities. My only resolution this year is to be present and mindful during every interaction. I know this isn't a SMART goal, it can't be measured, it's not time-bound, it may not even be realistic, but it's something I would like to work on. I don't want to feel like I missed out on anything because I was counting down to something in the future or dwelling on what happened or could have happened in the past. It's okay to have two homes, or ten or twenty. As long as you always have on your figurative yellow underwear.

Happy 2015, friends! Feliz Año, amigos!

Happy Day #57

I've been on this #100DaysofHappiness bandwagon for 57 days now, keeping track privately rather than posting on social media and what I've noticed about it has made me even happier. Instead of thinking hard to come up with one new thing each day, it's actually harder to choose just one of the many things that make me happy. I started it as a practice to keep myself conscious of the positive one can find in any situation, even on hard days in this crazy life I'm living, but now it's become a kind of happy journal that I look back at and smile about. Happy memories from 50 days ago making me even happier today. It's like this crazy, never-ending, happy cycle and I love it!

Lately, Thursdays are my favorite days because I get to hold hands with kids. I hope you understand that I'm not a weirdo without me having to say #nopedo... I started working at an elementary school in the "campo" (the countryside, the farming communities on the outskirts of town) and the kids are so great! It's a weird little English Club that includes any of the kids in the school who wanted to join so half of them are babies, about 6 years-old, and the other half are older, between 10-14. The classes are really mixed anyway because kids are often taken out of school for years at a time if their parents need them to work, but this is definitely a challenge, trying to find activities all the kids will be interested in. But my favorite part is the walk home when the kids walk with me to town and ask me tons of questions.

The girl on the left is Maria and the girl on the right is also Maria and they hold my hands for about 30 minutes every Thursday. Little Maria, the baby, talks and talks and talks the whole way and I don't understand a single word she's saying. I asked Big Maria if she's speaking Spanish and she said she's not sure, it might be Kichwa but she doesn't understand either. Big Maria asks me intelligible questions and always says "mmm" after every answer. The boys hardly ever say a word. The whole thing is ridiculously adorable and makes my day every week.

I missed a couple Thursdays recently though because I went to Peru! The whole trip was amazing and I loved seeing another side of South America. Many things were similar to Ecuador but it was interesting for me to compare the two and find some differences. The highlights: El Circuito Magico del Agua water park in Lima, sandboarding and watching a desert sunset in Huacachina, and Starbucks in Cuzco. But the mind-blowing, life-changing aspect of the trip was the Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu. It was, by far, the most physically demanding thing I've ever attempted and I was so very proud of myself for accomplishing it... like a BOSS! We hiked about 40 miles in 4 days, then climbed a mountain and took the long way back in the ruins and I hardly complained! The last night before flying back to Quito, however, every step I took was filled with pain and I was sure I was going to vomit, making several trips to the bathroom throughout the night. I think it was just a product of exhaustion though because I got back to Ecuador and my host mom took care of me and after 13 hours of sleep and some of her amazing chicken soup, I was right as rain again. Here's some photo evidence:

El Circuito Magico del Agua

Salkantay Trek- it doesn't even look real, it's so beautiful!

Sand angel

Mystical 

Machu Picchu

It was truly an incredible trip and it temporarily satisfied the travel bug that I've had for awhile. 

I've also been spending my weekends working, giving English methodology classes to teachers in different cities. These workshops are a blessing and a curse because they make me feel super productive, the teachers really appreciate the help, and I get to spend time with some of my favorite volunteers that I don't get to see often, but I also have to set an alarm on the weekends... sigh.

So I've been staying super busy here at the end of 2014 and now the countdown has come to 5 days until I'll be in America's Finest City! Some teachers said "Merry Christmas" to me for the first time this year and I instantly got giddy thinking about how close it is! I'm looking forward to SO many things in SD, but most of all, the love! I can't wait for hugs and chats and catch-ups with family and friends, and stuffing my face of course. It'll probably look/sound something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cILZ_cB3_so#t=92

I'll try to write a New Years post because 2014 has been one for the books.

See you soon, dear friends! :)