And So it Begins.

I'm sitting in the Hilton hotel in New York, living in the lap of luxury, anxiously awaiting the next steps. Tomorrow is orientation and then Wednesday we'll be heading down to Ecuador. I made it from JFK to the hotel via Air Train, shuttle, and my aching feet. Test number one: passed.

I have felt more emotions in the last couple of days than sanity would allow. This morning, during tearful goodbyes at the airport, my heart felt so heavy, I thought it might be in my feet (heavy boots, as some call it). I self-diagnosed my neuroses as mini panic attacks for the last week as I was preparing and packing. I was worried about the size, weight, and content of my bags but I met a few other volunteers today who have similar burdens. (If you're reading this, you probably know me pretty well and you know that I tend to worry too much for no reason.) Through all of the stress of getting here and leaving home, there is an excitement hiding, waiting to get past the difficult part. The best way I can explain it is to imagine that tomorrow is Christmas morning, but you've never had Christmas before, you've only heard about it, and also it's going to be your last day on Earth. Then multiply that feeling times a million. Okay, I'm exaggerating.

 

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. Q: What made you decide to join the Peace Corps?

    A: Simply put, I have to. I have had the most beautiful life so far. I had an amazing childhood and never wanted for anything. I have the most supportive, loving family anyone could ask for. I was handed my education on a silver platter. I have always had the opportunity to work, most of the time, 2 jobs. I don't understand why I deserve all of this while there are people who are faced with an eternal struggle and still do not receive half the benefits of life I have already received in 26 years. If I don't at least attempt to make something a little easier for someone else, I don't think I can feel like a whole person.

2. Q: What do you hope to gain from your experience?

    A: My light at the end of the tunnel is the feeling that I actually made a tangible difference. Of course, I am idealistic and maybe naive, but if I wasn't, I wouldn't be Chelsea.

On the same note, I wrote this a couple months ago to help me keep my feet on the ground. This is my attempt at being simultaneously realistic and optimistic:

A 2 Year Affirmation

You will be lonely.

But you will know you are loved.

You will be scared.

But you will have faith in your ability.

You will be nervous.

But you will remember a time when you were sure.

You will feel different.

But you will know we are all the same.

You will get lost.

But you will be found.

You will be transient.

But you will know a home.

You will be curious.

And you will learn a lifetime of lessons.

You will be selfless.

And you will feel the rewards in your heart.

You will be surrounded.

And you will create a global family.

You will teach and you will learn.

You will understand.

You will love.

I will probably be repeating this affirmation to myself in the mirror daily (possibly hourly) (I may have already done it a few times). And I will also look to the ever-inspiring words of my first love, Jason Mraz: if you have time, check out his song 93 Million Miles. The lyrics are my life.

If you'd like to give me some words of encouragement (please?) or ask any questions, comment here and I'll try to keep up whenever I have internet access. 

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring.

All my love,

Chelsea